Another weekend"bubye"

How I wish I had balloons in my hand now and wave,smiling saying 'BYE BYE' weekend.
but NO..

I am exceptionally down..*sigh*
why do you do this to yourself sanu?
because people dont hide things.they tellme everything..and if they dont tellme,they show it.and they know it disturbs me.
*sigh*

I've been down.Very down lately..ended up crying at shery's snaps yesterday.
I cant beleive I still have them.
I dont know..I just..this is too much.Its almost two months now for Godsake why cant I be just normal?
Why?....Why me God.
I've been crying alot..ALOT lately..my eyes hurt now..they really do.Tayyeb and Misha..was too much of a shock.Too much.I cried.
Its so silly how we plan everything and bang! things just mess up.I still remember misha,both of us I still remember our dreams.Everything.

..
I just want to run away.I just want to leave this place.I really do.Everything here,brings back stuff.Brings back so much.
Stuff I want to forget.
YOU DONT WANT TO SANU.YOU DONT WANT TO.
maybe I dont.
I'm going to work for the scolarship now.I need to get out of here.I'm just stuck up here..between life and darkness.Still.
So still.
"whatever happened to that beautiful smile sanu?I dont seem to see it"
Yes pia.I dont seem to find it too.